Street Dogs

What greater evil could you wish a miser than long life? — Publilius Syrus

Once, there was a miser, who to save money would eat nothing but oatmeal.

And what’s more, he would make a great big batch of it at the start of every week, and put it in a drawer, and when he wanted a meal, he would slice off a piece and eat it cold; thus he saved on firewood.

Now, by the end of the week, the oatmeal would be somewhat mouldy and not very appetising; and so, to make himself eat it, the miser would take out a bottle of good whiskey, pour himself a glass, and say: "All right, Olai, eat your oatmeal and when you’re done, you can have a dram."

Then he would eat his mouldy oatmeal, and when he was done, he’d laugh and pour the whiskey back in the bottle, and say: "Hah! And you believed that? There’s one born every minute, to be sure!" And thus, he had a great savings in whiskey as well. — Norwegian folk tale.

(Another) miser sold all that he had and bought a lump of gold, which he buried in a hole in the ground by the side of an old wall and went to look at it daily. One of his workmen observed his frequent visits to the spot, discovered the secret and stole it.

When the miser found the hole empty, he began to tear his hair and to make loud lamentations.

A neighbour, seeing him overcome with grief and learning the cause, said: "Pray do not grieve so; but go and take a stone, and place it in the hole, and fancy that the gold is still lying there.

"It will do you quite the same service; for when the gold was there, you had it not, as you did not make the slightest use of it." — Aesop