ALTHOUGH they may seem like equally vile presidential options, US talk show host Bill Maher pointed out on Real Time recently that there are differences between the two Republican presidential candidates. "Donald Trump wants to build a wall to keep out creepy foreigners," Maher explained. "Ted Cruz is proof we need it."
Maher said both conservatives and liberals have come to him asking for help deciding between the two. "Republicans, I feel your pain," he said. "You’re stuck between a rock and a gross place. The House of A*shole or the House of Douchebag. Team Werewolf or Team Vampire. Verizon or AT&T. But we have to accept that being a grown-up means hard choices between disgusting options."
Having to make such a choice — which made him swig bleach at one point — had Maher comparing it to picking between the Zika and Ebola viruses. He compared Trump to Ebola in this scenario, saying, "He’ll violently kill you right away."
Cruz, on the other hand, was like Zika because "we don’t see the damage until future generations".
No corpsing allowed…
GIVEN what parents in Gauteng had to go through when trying to register their children for their first year of school using the province’s new online system, the address for the site was all too appropriate.
The Gauteng Department of Education’s system collapsed in a dysfunctional heap the minute it opened for business on Tuesday and didn’t work properly for the rest of the day.
In all, many parents wasted what should have been a productive day to get their youngsters into school next year. A dead mission.
The website’s address? www.gdeadmissions.gov.za.
Gift of a trippy quip
A READER ordered some flowers from online outfit Netflorist earlier in the week and got the following delivery report by e-mail:
"Hi Theresa. We just wanted you to know that your order of Nachtmusik and Chocs for delivery to Liz has left the building. The estimated time could vary based on giraffes climbing out of potholes and Juju trying to nationalise our vehicle fleet. BUT, our drivers are devoted to their cause and will do their best to get to Liz on time. Sincerely, The Netflorist Bunch.
Sincerely, indeed.
• Do you have juicy gossip from the world of business or politics? Or just a quirky or funny story to tell? Send your scurrilous scuttlebutt to The Insider at [email protected] and it may just be published in Business Day and BDlive
US Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump speaks following victory in the New York state primary on Tuesday in New York City. Picture: AFP
ALTHOUGH they may seem like equally vile presidential options, US talk show host Bill Maher pointed out on Real Time recently that there are differences between the two Republican presidential candidates. "Donald Trump wants to build a wall to keep out creepy foreigners," Maher explained. "Ted Cruz is proof we need it."
Maher said both conservatives and liberals have come to him asking for help deciding between the two. "Republicans, I feel your pain," he said. "You’re stuck between a rock and a gross place. The House of A*shole or the House of Douchebag. Team Werewolf or Team Vampire. Verizon or AT&T. But we have to accept that being a grown-up means hard choices between disgusting options."
Having to make such a choice — which made him swig bleach at one point — had Maher comparing it to picking between the Zika and Ebola viruses. He compared Trump to Ebola in this scenario, saying, "He’ll violently kill you right away."
Cruz, on the other hand, was like Zika because "we don’t see the damage until future generations".
No corpsing allowed…
GIVEN what parents in Gauteng had to go through when trying to register their children for their first year of school using the province’s new online system, the address for the site was all too appropriate.
The Gauteng Department of Education’s system collapsed in a dysfunctional heap the minute it opened for business on Tuesday and didn’t work properly for the rest of the day.
In all, many parents wasted what should have been a productive day to get their youngsters into school next year. A dead mission.
The website’s address? www.gdeadmissions.gov.za.
Gift of a trippy quip
A READER ordered some flowers from online outfit Netflorist earlier in the week and got the following delivery report by e-mail:
"Hi Theresa. We just wanted you to know that your order of Nachtmusik and Chocs for delivery to Liz has left the building. The estimated time could vary based on giraffes climbing out of potholes and Juju trying to nationalise our vehicle fleet. BUT, our drivers are devoted to their cause and will do their best to get to Liz on time. Sincerely, The Netflorist Bunch.
Sincerely, indeed.
• Do you have juicy gossip from the world of business or politics? Or just a quirky or funny story to tell? Send your scurrilous scuttlebutt to The Insider at [email protected] and it may just be published in Business Day and BDlive
