THE INSIDER: How SAA uses bail-out money to create jobs
REPORTS abounded at the weekend about Air Chefs, a division of South African Airways, dumping close to a ton of excess food valued at millions of rand (among the list of discarded products was 160kg of "egg pulp", which made the Insider feel a little queasy).
Such waste disturbs the Insider. But then, in a paper in which the report was made, he noticed that Air Chefs was running an ad. It was a "request for bid" and invited suppliers to bid for, wait for it — waste disposal.
What an inspired way to alleviate unemployment! Create waste, thus creating a need for people to dispose of it. Disconcertingly, this job-creation model may actually be sustainable.
VARIOUS media outlets are "reporting" — as if it’s actual news — that FNB paid the children used in its ads — and paid them to read an approved script. It’s called the advertising industry, stupid. Just as those permanently smiling and flat-stomached 20-something mothers of teenage children are paid to read a script for an ad which sees them claim that (insert household cleaner of your choice here) really changed their lives! What would the African National Congress prefer — that the children be exploited by being paid nothing for doing a job of work?
Postal trance revelation
SAPA reports that a man and a woman have appeared in the George Magistrate’s Court for alleged possession of "magic" mushrooms worth about R20,000 on the street.
Capt Malcolm Pojie said the 25-year-old man and 23-year-old woman were arrested on Friday. They appeared in court the same day. The woman could not be linked to the crime and was released. The man was granted R1,500 bail and the case was postponed until July 25. They were arrested after police received a tip-off about a package of drugs at George post office.
"With the ... stakeout that ensued, members witnessed how a man who was accompanied by women took possession of the suspicious package," Pojie said.
"Further information revealed that the package was posted to George from Kokstad (in KwaZulu-Natal) and was destined for usage or distribution at a trance party in George." The package contained 390g of mushrooms.
The Insider is intrigued over a package of mushrooms — their magic attributes surely not apparent through the packaging — coming to be regarded as "suspicious". Perhaps they were particularly pungent fungi and the postal workers were so overcome by the, like, totally amazing smell from them they could only assume that aliens had landed and were using the South African Postal Services to ensure the right earthlings got the stash.
(Note from Insider to aliens; do some research about the postal service in future.)
"The Smurfs are little blue people who live in magic mushrooms. Think about it."
Anonymous (but probably an alien).
• E-mail gossip to firstname.lastname@example.org