GEOFFREY Chaucer was probably the first English author to have his books printed. He did not live to see it happen, which is a pity because he had evidently tired of the mess the hand copiers had made of his work. At the end of Troilus and Criseyde he beseeches: "For there is so great diversity in English and in writing of our tongue, so pray I God that none miswrite thee."
Printing Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, William Caxton used the opportunity to try to standardise English spelling and usage. As JP Davidson recounts in Planet Word (Michael Joseph), there were at the time more than 20 ways to spell "might". There were also, as today, many variations of English speech and vocabulary.
Today's standard English sticklers are more insistent than ever, convinced there is only one correct form, the Queen's English, which never changes.
Planet Word is the accompaniment to a BBC TV series presented by polymath Stephen Fry, who has written the introduction. There are nuggets but, like the gravediggers in Hamlet, the reader must work to uncover them. The trot around the history of language is competent, and sometimes better than that, but it does go on, taking in not just language taboos and rhyming slang, but David Ogilvy's advertising, Paul Simon's lyrics and the Rev Jesse Jackson's speeches.
A more innovative look at language's shifting nature is David Bellos's Is That a Fish in Your Ear? (Particular Books). Bellos is a veteran translator of French to English and the book is a practitioner's fervent exposition of his art. It took me a while to work out where it was all leading. Its subtitle is Translation and the Meaning of Everything, which turns out to be a fair description. This, finally, marvellous work is about how language shifts and how we try, in vain, to pin it down, using the way we speak and write to define who we are and to fix our place in the world.
Translation, Bellos makes clear, is more art than science. Not only are there often no exact equivalences between languages; there is no exactness within languages. We think there are rules for speaking and writing, but even a sentence is an arbitrary construction. People don't really speak in sentences. Listen to your children, Bellos says - they never finish theirs. "The 'grammar of English' - or any language - has not yet been completed, and ... will always remain a work in progress. Flaws of this magnitude in aerodynamics ... would not have allowed the Wright Brothers to get off the ground."
So why do we insist the way we speak and write is right? Because, says Bellos, "the way any individual talks is part of his identity as a member of a specific community, defined by region, area, city ... and certainly by clan or family". To challenge the language of those in charge is not just to challenge the way they speak and spell. It is to challenge the idea that they should be in charge.
We see this in the reaction of the French elite to their language's diminishing reach. The English establishment is in a different position: no language has ever had such reach. English's pre-eminence gives its native speakers an elevated position. They believe they speak the language better than anyone else, and those learning English often agree. "It is an axiom of language study that to be a native speaker is to have complete possession of a language.. In spite of the obvious fact that speakers of the same language use it in infinitely varied ways . we proceed on the assumption that only . native speakers of English are in a position to judge whether any other speaker is using the language 'natively' ."
But millions of others speak English now - and they often, in the view of the language's guardians, don't speak it correctly. They talk, for example, about "the latest informations". Pathetic, isn't it? Except that Chaucer talked about "wise informations". The wonderful thing about English disputes is you can usually show someone authoritative used the "wrong form" too. Some of you may have scoffed at my start to this paragraph because you are not supposed to begin a sentence with "but" - nor with "and".
Where did the proscription against sentences starting with conjunctions come from? According to David Crystal, surely the world's most prolific writer on the English language, 19th-century school teachers thought their charges were overdoing the practice, told them to do it less, and this turned into a rule. Fowler called it a "superstition".
Crystal, or his publisher, had the clever idea of telling The Story of English in 100 Words (Profile). He moves chronologically from the first identified English word - "roe", found carved on a 5th-century roe-deer ankle bone - to today's "Twittersphere". The persistent message is not only our theme that there is nothing permanent about English's rules, but also that much of English variation has come from those allegedly mistake-making foreigners with their "informations" and all the rest. "Potato" - believed to have a Haitian derivation before being introduced to Spain by Christopher Columbus and then into English - presented a problem. The "o" ending did not feel right. What should the plural be? Potatos? Eventually people opted for "potatoes". But, Crystal says, in the 16th century some came up with a different solution: "potato's". Yes; even the "greengrocer's apostrophe", that acme of modern illiteracy, has a venerable lineage.
This derivation of words is wonderful sport and Mark Forsyth is an extreme and hugely entertaining practitioner. Some people ask him where a word comes from; few, once recovered, ask him twice. His family and friends wondered what to do with him. "Having established that secure psychiatric care was beyond their means, they turned in despair to the publishing industry, which has a long history of picking up where social work leaves off." The result was The Etymologicon (Icon Books). The subtitle is A Circular Stroll Through the Hidden Connections of the English Language and this time it is a misdescription. It is not a stroll; it is a plunge on a toboggan where the only way to stop is to fall off.
Where does the word "probably" come from? From the Latin probabilis, which meant "could be proved by experiment". "But probabilis got overused," Forsyth writes. "People are always more certain of things than they really should be, and that applied to the Romans just as much as to us. Roman lawyers would claim that their case was probabilis, when it wasn't.. And absolutely any sane Roman would tell you that it was probabilis that the Sun went round the Earth. So by the time poor probably first turned up in English in 1387 it was already a poor, exhausted word whose best days were behind it and only meant 'likely'."
Each story rushes connectedly into the next, all showing that yesterday's correctness is not today's, which will not be tomorrow's.
But, as Forsyth concludes: "The greatest joy a human being can achieve in this sorrowful world is to get one up on his or her fellow man or woman by correcting their English."
However stodgy or historically unaware they may be, the sticklers care about the language. By showing we know the rules, ephemeral as they may be, we show we care too. More: the sticklers are in charge. They (in perhaps decreasing numbers) mark examinations. They give people jobs. That is why those who fail to teach young people what is today regarded as grammatically right and wrong are letting them down. My family came to English only a generation or two ago and I am grateful my teachers urged me to be a stickler too. With what success, I leave you to judge. I am sure you will.
© 2012 The Financial Times Limited